Let me tell you the tragic story of a young man named Timothy. Timothy was a Christian for well over 20 years. He grew up in the church. He went to Sunday school. He was taught that he deserved to go to hell for breaking God's law and so Jesus, the Son of the Father, the Son of God and God in the flesh (cf. John 1:1, 14) came down as a man, died on a cross as a replacement for the father's wrath that hung over his head. He grew up as a passionate Christian, telling all of his friends about this love that God had him and that they are in the same boat of condemnation as he is and the same love that God has for him He has for them. And it wasn't until high school when he was given the name God Boy and Jesus Freak, names that he proudly wore.Timothy had a great reputation as being an on-fire-for-Jesus Christian. In his early twenties he taught Sunday school to kindergarten children at his church and as the years past he climbed the proverbial corporate-church-ladder and was given free will access to the church building. Everyone praised Timothy for his hyperactive childlike demeanour but also for his maturity as a leader to young minds. In sum nobody could say anything bad about Timothy.
However Timothy had a dark secret. He had a serious attraction to the darker sides of human sexuality, namely sadomasochism.[i] For years Timothy fought this attraction and it seemed to be a loosing battle as even though he'd have weeks and even months of sobriety from pornographic websites and self-abuse (he abused himself as he never met anyone who shared his sexual predilection) there always came that day when his body and mind ganged up on him and turned his entire being into knots. And as a result he eventually went back to bingeing on sadomasochistic websites and self-destruction.
Over the years Timothy prayed and pleaded with God to take this sexual perversion (as he saw it) away from him but nothing happened. He struggled with this so much that it effected his evangelical ministry. He knew on one hand that it may have been best to step down from ministry until he got a handle on this sexual struggle of his (if he ever would be able to), but he didn't want to; he loved Jesus and desperately wanted to teach everyone about Jesus' love. So he continued his ministry: he served people with the good news of the Gospel by day and in silence he served his sexual desires; and in some cases his binges lasted for weeks at a time.
Timothy was confused. Why would God not relieve him of his sexual sin if it is clearly having such an impact on his ministry, a ministry that he dedicated to God? This confusion played on his mind for years and he even began to consider the possibility that this sexuality was not a perversion as he always believed but just a preference, his sexual orientation as it were. He rationalized that the reason God didn't take away this sexual issue was because he was fine with it and thus so should Timothy be. However he just couldn't bring himself to accept that as fact given what he believed Scripture said.
Then one day Timothy gave sexual sobriety another hard go. He adopted the philosophy held by Alcoholics Anonymous: One day at a time. So beginning with one day and going at it one day at a time, he was successful for three consecutive months. However by the third month rolled around he began to wobble and he knew that if he was going to keep the momentum going he would have to get another human being in his corner. So he prayed for the courage to tell someone about his sexual struggles as up to now his three month success was just between him, his Bible and Jesus.
Three more months goes by and he still is hanging in there, but barely. He knew that he had to have support, no questions asked so he made an appointment to have lunch with a pastor / friend of his at his church. This pastor was one who Timothy had talked to and confided in for years. At 12 noon Timothy had a church, a ministry and respect and at 2:00 PM Timothy had no church, no ministry and had lost the respect he had earned. Why? Because he confide that he had a sexual sin that he had repented of but was struggling with. What was the one thing do you think Timothy pulled out from this experience? ANSWER: Keep your mouth shut about your sin! (Especially any sexual sin!)
This lesson unfortunately is one that many people who struggle with same-sex attraction seem to have learned: stay in the proverbial closet unless you want to be rejected and demeaned. It is true that God hates sin and thus so should the Christian but the church that Timothy went to was so hyperactive regarding its hatred for sin that they were unBiblical; or at least as it pertained to the subject of sin. Timothy believed that the church held to the view that although we can teach that all have sinned (cf. Romans 3:23) we ought not to show that fact. However the disciple John begs to differ.
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. - 1 John 1:8
He says that if he put sin in the closet (pretend that it doesn't exist and even claim so) we are deceiving ourselves and we are not teaching truth. So John is saying not to hide the sin nature. However is he saying then to flaunt our sin proudly? No. So what are we do to? ANSWER: Own and then disown our sin nature. John carries on to say:
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. - 1 John 1:9
So what can we do regarding our fellow fallen friends, gay or straight? Accept them with open arms but love them by encouraging repentance from their sin. Homosexuality like sadomasochism is a perversion of sexuality and it should be discouraged and repented from. But this message cannot be received by the person who needs to hear it if they are receiving the boot from the place or the company from which they should be receiving acceptance, God's church and people. In a pro-homosexual video on Vimeo about Grand Canyon University's condemnation of homosexuality a woman states that it is not the university's fault that gay people feel afraid to confess their same-sex attraction but rather it is the Christian's fault.[ii] The spirit of her words presume that a rejection of homosexuality is a rejection of the homosexual, something that is clearly wrong; but one cannot deny that there is an element of truth to her claim. It is important that the Christian hates sin with a passion, but this passion cannot get in the way of the Christian's job: representing Jesus. John carries on to say that "[if] we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us." In the same way then if we keep sin in the closet and pretend it doesn't exist not only are we merely playing lip-service to the teaching of sin's reality we cannot proceed love our neighbour (cf. Matthew 22:39) by helping them get a handle on or overcome their sin.
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[i] - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sadomasochism - accessed June 17, 2014
[ii] - http://vimeo.com/97782575 - accessed June 18, 2014
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